Do you ever feel like the universe is conspiring to tell you a specific piece of information? But also, that the universe is kind of concerned that you aren’t listening? Or maybe that you have your airpods in? Or that the noise around you might be too loud to hear a whisper, so the universe stands on a table in a silent library and shouts at you?
Life is weird. I’m responding with poetry. Here are two pieces I wrote in the last week.
In my creative writing class, we have spent a lot of time talking about where we get our ideas and how we take those ideas and turn them into stories. Most writers (I think? Maybe this is too much of a generalization?) fall into one of two categories: I have so many ideas and I need to include them all or I don’t have any ideas and that means I can never write anything... ever.
Sometimes, I hate AI. I know a lot of people feel similarly about it. Probably most especially those who teach others all about language and words and the power they can have when wielded in specific ways.
Disclaimer: This definitely doesn't work for every one of my learners. Some of them, the component of a competition actually disengages them. But for most of my learners, a competition incentivizes them.
This week was short for us. On Monday, facilitators came together for professional development. Our building leadership did some really awesome unconference work where facilitators were able to choose sessions based on their needs. Sessions mostly focused on the ethical use of AI in education and inspired a lot of interesting dialogue. It even inspired my co-facilitator and I to start the conversation on AI with our learners.
"Kiddo, your cheeks are so red," I say, brushing my fingers gently over the almost perfectly round spots that have developed after a day of windy bike riding, running, chasing, and occasionally dressing up as Spiderman or Green Lantern. Today has been one for the books, one of the best that we've had collectively in a while. Raising five children ranging from five years old to thirteen years old is no walk in the park. Often, if three out of five are having a good day, then we get to count that as a collective win.
Recently, I visited one of the art teachers in my building to ask her some questions about the set up for my Creative Writing Class (She makes amazing art! Check her out here!) While I was there, I was enamored by the creative art making that was happening all around the room. She was adding handles to beautiful mugs that she had made, there were learners making what looked like clay sculptures, and there was one learner at the wheel.
2022 is going to be all about progress instead of being all about the goals. Typically, I live by the end result, and -more often than I like to admit- I stall out somewhere on my path towards the goal. And maybe it isn't stalling out... Maybe it's getting distracted by something different. Maybe it's fear of failure. Maybe it's fear in general. Whether it is fear that causes distraction or just distraction in general, I live like this in almost all aspects of my life.
Writing is often a lonely endeavor. I like to be alone, but I don’t always put my creative work to the front of my “to do” list. Sometimes, as a mom of five, my alone time is spent staring at the wall in the quiet, but I try to keep those times to a minimum.
The number one recommendation I have if this is you, whether it is through creative writing, artistic endeavors, decorating—literally anything that you want to do but struggle to make time to do—I would join a group of like minded individuals.
Three (maybe four?) years ago, I joined a writer’s group. I was terrified. I had never done anything for my writing outside of my creative writing undergraduate classes, but all of the books told me I needed a critique group.
Every Monday we meet virtually to read and discuss each other’s work. For a long time I didn’t submit. Instead I focused on giving feedback and learning from the group. I’ve learned so much from them. I look forward to Monday nights for the community of like-goaled people.
But my writer’s group has also given me the accountability I was lacking. When you hang out with writers, you don’t want to spend as much of your free time staring at the wall. You want to contribute. You want to be able to tell them you spent some time writing this week.
Whether you are a painter, an organizer, a graphic designer, or poet, find your people. If you find your people, you will grow your skills and your community. It could change everything.
As I began thinking about the new year, one area of my life I really wanted to take seriously was my writing. With all of the chaos in my personal life over the last three or four years, writing has been a constant... as in I was constantly telling myself I needed to write more, that serious writers prioritize their craft, that, of course I was tired but when would I not be tired?
Because this year’s focus is to begin again, I have decided that I will not be mean to myself when it comes to writing. What I will do is find ways to keep writing, whether it is through journaling, working on my novels, or here on the blog. The second way is by reading books on the craft of writing.
Natalie Goldberg is a writer and teacher, so I feel a certain kinship with her. With fifteen books on writing, including Writing Down the Bones, I didn’t hesitate to pick up Writing on Empty. It was the perfect place to start this journey. She shared her love of writing, her fear of not being able to write, and the wonder of finding one’s voice again. This book felt like it was written for me, like I was meant to find it exactly when I did.
While the cover promises a guide to finding your voice, I will say that most of the book reads like a memoir. You are reading and learning about someone else’s experience with writing, with feeling lost, and with finding their way to their words again. It is about finding your voice, but I would argue it is more about how even the best of writers sometimes lose their way.
Early in the novel, she’s sharing with her friend Eddie, the two of them in lawn chairs in a park because the threat of covid hovers like a dark cloud. She says that in high school she “never got over the promise of writing” (24). That’s it isn’t it? For all of my friends who write, the promise of getting it right, the promise of saying something that matters... That promise keeps us moving forward. And most of the book is about her fighting through because of that promise. She wants to give up, but she refuses to.
This book gets four out of five stars for me. At the end of the novel there is a section of practices that align with the chapters in the book. I wish those had been sprinkled throughout. Aside from that, the promise of writing is shared in a way I really needed to hear it.
“That’s why I teach writing practice. It’s my hope to close the gap between someone’s fine, deep connected writing and how they live their life. A writer doesn’t have to be mad or an alcoholic to squeeze out their writing. Writing and life can be more coincident, can be seen as a practice. Not holy, not precious. Instead, you show up and continue as long as you live” (109).
It almost seems like a cliche to start something on January 1, but I can’t seem to help myself. I love new beginnings. I love the promise of a chance to try something new, to create lists and set goals. I don’t, however, always love that I lose focus and forget what I’m trying to accomplish. I feel like Dory.
Part of who I am as a person means that if it is out of my sight, it is out of my mind. I forget to do things when I don’t have a physical list I can reference. And, even if I make the most organized and fancy list of all time, if I don’t see the list, I will just bebop around doing valuable things, but not necessarily doing the things on my list that I want to be doing.
This year, I decided to plan on paper, and I did it more in a mind map style. No matter how much I want to just fix my whole life in a month, I know that the things that I find valuable take more time. This is what I came up with:
Word of the year: Begin Again..
Yes, I know it's two word, but they go together. Often, I feel so disappointed when I don’t accomplish a goal in the amount of time that I have deemed appropriate. Sometimes, I feel so disappointed I deem myself a failure and want to give up. I don’t give up easily, but I carry that shame of not completing a goal even as I try to accomplish the new goal. This year, I want to drop the shame and instead remind myself to begin again. Begin writing again. Begin exercising again. Begin reading again. Don’t be afraid to begin again.
Is there anything that 2024 took from you that you would like to begin again? For me, I’m going to start with writing, with beginning some of my previous projects again, with blogging, and with a renewed hope for what this year will hold.
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